Friendships can be wonderful—but they can also be complicated.
One day you feel like you have found your people. The next day, someone leaves you out, a friendship changes, or you wonder whether your friends really care about you.
The Bible has plenty to say about relationships, and the story of Ruth and Naomi gives us some beautiful lessons about loyalty, kindness, courage, belonging, and what it means to stand beside someone when life gets difficult.
Ruth and Naomi weren’t technically friends—they were daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. But their relationship shows many of the qualities we hope to find in a good friendship.
Ruth didn’t simply say she cared about Naomi.
She showed it.
And that is where some of the most powerful friendship lessons from Ruth begin.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #1. A Good Friend Stays When Life Gets Hard
Ruth’s friendship lesson begins during one of the hardest moments imaginable.
Naomi had lost her husband and both of her sons. She decided to return from Moab to Bethlehem, and she encouraged Ruth and Orpah to stay in Moab and rebuild their lives.
Orpah eventually returned to her family.
Ruth chose to stay with Naomi.
She told her:
“Where you go, I’ll go.” — Ruth 1:16
Ruth didn’t know what was waiting for them in Bethlehem.
She didn’t know where they would live, how they would find food, or what their future would look like.
But she knew Naomi shouldn’t have to face it alone.
What can girls learn from this?
A good friend doesn’t disappear the moment things become difficult.
That doesn’t mean you have to solve someone’s problems. You can’t always fix what another person is going through.
Sometimes being a good friend simply means:
- listening
- checking in
- sitting beside someone
- encouraging them
- including them
- letting them know they’re not alone
Friendship isn’t only about having fun together. It’s also about showing up when life isn’t fun.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #2. A Good Friend Doesn’t Make Everything About Herself
Ruth had plenty of reasons to think about her own future.
She was a widow.
She was leaving her homeland.
She was moving to a place where she would be a foreigner.
Yet Ruth chose to consider what Naomi needed.
Her decision wasn’t about getting attention or making herself look good.
She was willing to make sacrifices for someone else.
That’s a powerful friendship lesson because it’s easy for friendships to become all about me:
What do I want to do?
Who should we hang out with?
Why didn’t she invite me?
What did she say about me?
Why isn’t she texting me back?
Those feelings are real, but healthy friendship also asks:
“How is my friend doing?”
Try this:
The next time you’re with a friend, ask a question and genuinely listen to the answer.
You might discover that she needs someone to listen more than she needs advice.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #3. Kindness Makes People Feel Seen
When Ruth arrived in Bethlehem, she didn’t sit around waiting for someone else to solve everything.
She went into the fields to glean grain so that she and Naomi could have food.
That’s where Boaz noticed her.
He had heard about Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi and treated her with kindness. He made sure she was safe, had access to water, and could continue gathering grain in his fields.
Ruth was surprised that someone had noticed her.
That matters.
Sometimes people don’t need a huge gesture.
They simply need someone to notice them.
What does that look like today?
Maybe it’s:
- sitting beside someone who is alone
- inviting someone into your group
- noticing when a friend seems unusually quiet
- complimenting someone’s effort
- remembering something important to her
- asking, “Are you okay?”
Small acts of kindness can make a big difference.
You don’t have to be popular to make someone feel important.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #4. A Good Friend Celebrates Someone Else’s Good News
Friendship isn’t only about helping someone through bad days.
It’s also about celebrating their good days.
When something exciting happens to your friend, how do you respond?
Are you genuinely happy for her?
Or do you immediately start comparing?
She got invited and I didn’t.
She got the role I wanted.
Everyone is talking about her.
Why does she get to do that?
Comparison can quietly turn friendship into competition.
Ruth’s story reminds us that relationships are stronger when we genuinely want good things for other people.
A friendship challenge
Think of one friend who has done something well recently.
Tell her.
Don’t add a comparison.
Don’t make it about yourself.
Just celebrate her.
A friend who can celebrate you is a friend worth keeping—and becoming.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #5. Loyalty Doesn’t Mean Agreeing With Everything
Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi was incredibly strong.
But loyalty doesn’t mean saying yes to everything a friend does.
A healthy friendship still needs honesty, wisdom, and boundaries.
You can care about someone and disagree with them.
You can love a friend and tell her when something isn’t a good idea.
You can support someone without joining in when they’re making a poor choice.
That’s important for preteen girls because friendships can sometimes create pressure.
You might hear:
“If you’re really my friend, you’ll do it.”
But that’s not what real friendship looks like.
A better response might be:
“I’m your friend, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Real loyalty doesn’t require you to abandon your values.
A good friend helps you become a better version of yourself.
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #6. You Can Welcome Someone Who Feels Like an Outsider
Ruth knew what it felt like to be different.
She was a Moabite living among the people of Israel.
She had left her homeland and entered an unfamiliar community with Naomi.
Imagine how uncomfortable that might have felt.
New place.
New people.
New customs.
New surroundings.
Yet Ruth eventually found people who recognized her character and treated her with dignity.
This gives us an important friendship lesson:
You can be the person who helps someone else feel like they belong.
Maybe there is a girl at school who is new.
Maybe someone sits alone at lunch.
Maybe there is a girl in your church group who doesn’t know anyone yet.
You don’t have to become her best friend immediately.
Start small.
Smile.
Say hello.
Make room.
Ask her to join you.
Sometimes belonging begins with one person deciding:
“There’s room for you here.”
Friendship Lessons from Ruth #7. The Best Friendships Help Us Become Who God Created Us to Be
One of the biggest lessons from Ruth’s story is that our relationships can influence the direction of our lives.
Ruth’s decision to stay with Naomi changed her future.
Her journey eventually led her to Boaz, to a new family, and to becoming part of the family line of King David.
Ruth couldn’t see any of that when she left Moab.
She simply took the next step.
That reminds us to think carefully about the people we allow to influence us.
Ask yourself:
Do my friends encourage me to be kind?
Do they respect my boundaries?
Can I be myself around them?
Do they encourage me to make wise choices?
Can we disagree without hurting each other?
Do I encourage them too?
Friendship isn’t about finding perfect people.
None of us are perfect.
It’s about building relationships where people can encourage one another, forgive one another, tell the truth, show kindness, and grow together.
What Ruth Teaches Us About Being a Good Friend
Ruth’s story gives us a beautiful picture of loyal love.
She didn’t know how her story would end.
She didn’t have everything figured out.
She couldn’t see what God was doing.
But she made faithful choices one step at a time.
And those choices affected not only Naomi but generations that came after her.
That’s one of the most encouraging lessons from Ruth for girls today:
Your everyday choices matter.
The way you treat your friends matters.
The way you respond when someone is left out matters.
The way you show kindness matters.
The courage you have to make a good choice matters.
You don’t need hundreds of friends.
You don’t need to be the most popular girl in the room.
You don’t need everyone to like you.
You can start by becoming the kind of friend you would want to have.
A Simple Friendship Challenge
This week, choose one of these:
👋 Notice someone
Look for someone who might be feeling left out and include her.
💬 Encourage someone
Send a message or tell someone something genuinely kind.
👂 Listen
Ask a friend how she’s really doing—and listen without immediately trying to fix everything.
❤️ Show up
If someone is having a difficult day, let her know you’re there.
🌱 Choose kindness
Do something thoughtful without expecting anything in return.
You never know how much a small act of friendship might mean to someone.
Remember Ruth’s Example
Ruth didn’t become important because she was famous, powerful, or popular.
She became part of an extraordinary story through ordinary acts of faithfulness.
She stayed.
She worked.
She cared.
She showed courage.
She welcomed a new future.
And she trusted God one step at a time.
So the next time you’re wondering what makes someone a really good friend, remember Ruth.
A good friend doesn’t have to be perfect.
She simply needs to be willing to:
STAY.
LISTEN.
ENCOURAGE.
INCLUDE.
BE KIND.
TELL THE TRUTH.
GROW WITH YOU.
Those are friendship lessons every girl can learn.
Want to Explore Ruth More Deeply?
The story of Ruth is filled with lessons about friendship, loyalty, courage, kindness, belonging, faith, influence, and purpose.
The 30 Days With Ruth devotional takes preteens through a month-long journey through Ruth’s story, connecting Scripture with everyday questions about friendship, belonging, courage, kindness, influence, faith, and purpose. It takes preteen girls through Ruth’s story one day at a time, helping them connect what happened in the Bible with the real-life situations they face today.
Each day includes Bible reading, reflection, a practical challenge, prayer, a memory verse, and the ZigZag Word Search.
It’s designed for Christian preteen girls, whether used at home, in homeschool, Sunday school, Bible clubs, girls’ groups, or independently.
Real People. Real Choices. A Faithful God.
You can also go directly to our Etsy store and purchase the 30 Days with Ruth devotional directly.