I grew up an only child, meaning no siblings. On top of that I am an introverted soul who prefers peace and quiet rather than the company of too many people. This can be a blessing and a curse … as usual. A blessing because my stuff is my stuff and I had no sibling rivalry, no one wanted to steal my stuff. Which sounds cool. However, I also did not learn to deal with daily situations that would have developed my social side more, and helped me become a bit more robust than I am. That is probably why I look at the story of Joseph and his brothers with some awe.
The story of Joseph and his brothers is one of the most powerful family stories in the Bible.
It begins with favouritism and jealousy, takes Joseph through betrayal, slavery and prison, and eventually leads to forgiveness, reconciliation and a family reunited.
For preteens, Joseph’s story isn’t just something that happened thousands of years ago. It connects with situations they may experience today—sibling rivalry, comparison, jealousy, hurt feelings, family conflict, forgiveness and learning to trust God.
So what can Joseph and his brothers teach us?
A Family Already Full of Conflict
Joseph was one of Jacob’s twelve sons.
Jacob loved Joseph and gave him a special robe. His brothers saw the difference in how their father treated him, and they became jealous.
Joseph also had dreams that seemed to indicate that his family would one day bow down to him.
His brothers didn’t take that well.
Genesis tells us that they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.
The problem wasn’t created in one day.
Favouritism, comparison, jealousy and resentment were building inside the family.
A lesson for preteens
Family conflict often begins with seemingly small things.
“That’s not fair!”
“Why does she get to do that?”
“Mum likes him more.”
“He’s always the favourite.”
Comparison can quickly turn into resentment if we don’t deal with it.
Jealousy Can Change the Way We See People
Joseph’s brothers stopped seeing him simply as their brother.
Their jealousy changed the way they viewed him.
Instead of celebrating Joseph’s successes, they resented them.
This is one of the dangers of jealousy.
When we’re jealous, another person’s good news can feel like bad news for us.
Someone else’s success can make us feel like we’ve failed.
Someone else’s attention can make us feel invisible.
Someone else’s possessions can make us feel like we don’t have enough.
But another person’s blessing doesn’t make yours smaller.
That’s something worth remembering.
God doesn’t ask us to compete with everyone around us.
He calls us to become the people He created us to be.
Joseph’s Brothers Throw Him into a Pit
One day, Jacob sent Joseph to check on his brothers and the sheep.
When they saw Joseph coming, they decided to get rid of him.
Their anger became so serious that some of them wanted to kill him.
Instead, they threw Joseph into a pit.
Eventually, they sold him to travelling merchants heading to Egypt.
Joseph was taken away as a slave.
His brothers had gone from jealous thoughts to devastating actions.
This is why the story of Joseph and his brothers is such an important Bible lesson about jealousy.
Feelings aren’t the same as choices.
You may feel jealous.
You may feel angry.
You may feel left out.
But you still have a choice about what you do with those feelings.
What Happened to Joseph?
Joseph was taken to Egypt and sold as a slave.
He eventually became a trusted servant in Potiphar’s household.
But after Joseph refused to give in to temptation, he was falsely accused and sent to prison.
Even there, Joseph continued to serve faithfully.
Eventually, Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams and was promoted to a position of great authority.
He went from being a prisoner to becoming one of the most powerful people in Egypt.
But Joseph’s story wasn’t finished.
A severe famine came.
And Joseph’s brothers needed food.
So they travelled to Egypt.
Joseph Meets His Brothers Again
Joseph recognised his brothers immediately.
They didn’t recognise him.
This creates one of the most dramatic moments in the story.
Years earlier, Joseph had been powerless.
Now he had authority.
Years earlier, his brothers had decided what happened to him.
Now Joseph could decide what happened to them.
He had every opportunity to seek revenge.
But Joseph chose a different path.
The Brothers Begin to Change
Joseph’s brothers weren’t exactly the same people they had been years earlier.
When Benjamin, Joseph’s younger brother, became involved in the situation, Judah offered himself as a substitute.
This was significant.
The brothers who had once been willing to sacrifice Joseph for their own interests were now willing to sacrifice themselves for Benjamin.
Their choices showed that something had changed.
This gives us an important lesson:
People can change.
A person who has made a terrible choice doesn’t have to keep making the same choices forever.
Repentance means recognising what is wrong and turning in a different direction.
Joseph Reveals Who He Is
Eventually, Joseph couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer.
He sent everyone else out and revealed his identity.
His brothers were terrified.
They knew what they had done.
They probably expected Joseph to punish them.
Instead, Joseph reassured them.
He explained that although they had intended to harm him, God had been working through the situation to preserve life.
Joseph understood something his brothers hadn’t seen:
God had been working throughout the entire journey.
“You Intended to Harm Me”
After Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers became afraid again.
They wondered whether Joseph would finally take revenge.
Joseph responded with one of the most memorable statements in Genesis:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.”
— Genesis 50:20, NIV
This verse is sometimes misunderstood.
Joseph wasn’t saying:
“What you did was good.”
It wasn’t.
He wasn’t saying:
“It didn’t hurt.”
It did.
He wasn’t saying:
“There were no consequences.”
There were.
Joseph was recognising that God could take a terrible situation and work through it for good.
That’s a powerful truth for anyone facing difficult circumstances.
What Joseph Teaches Us About Forgiveness
Joseph had a choice.
He could allow the actions of his brothers to define his future.
Or he could choose forgiveness.
He chose forgiveness.
But forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending that nothing happened.
That’s important for preteens to understand.
Forgiveness does not mean:
- saying the hurt didn’t matter
- pretending something wrong was acceptable
- immediately trusting someone again
- allowing someone to keep hurting you
- refusing to tell a trusted adult when something serious happens
Instead, forgiveness means choosing not to live controlled by revenge and bitterness.
Sometimes forgiveness is a process.
Sometimes it takes time.
And sometimes rebuilding trust takes even longer.
Joseph Shows Us What Real Forgiveness Looks Like
Joseph didn’t simply say, “I forgive you,” and walk away.
He actively cared for his brothers and their families.
He told them not to be afraid.
He provided food for them.
He reassured them.
His actions demonstrated that his forgiveness was genuine.
That’s an important lesson:
Forgiveness changes how we respond.
What Can Preteens Do When Family Conflict Happens?
Joseph’s story gives us practical ideas for handling conflict.
1. Stop Comparing
Comparing yourself with your brothers, sisters or friends can fuel jealousy.
Instead of asking:
“Why don’t I have what they have?”
try asking:
“What has God given me that I can be thankful for?”
2. Don’t Feed Jealousy
When jealousy appears, don’t keep replaying it in your mind.
Talk to God.
Talk to someone you trust.
Choose gratitude.
And don’t allow jealousy to become an excuse for unkind behaviour.
3. Watch Your Words
Joseph’s brothers had stopped speaking peacefully with him.
Words can make family conflict worse.
Sarcasm, insults, teasing and angry comments may feel satisfying in the moment, but they can create deeper wounds.
Before saying something hurtful, ask:
“Will this help or make things worse?”
4. Take Responsibility for Your Choices
Joseph’s brothers couldn’t change what they had done.
But they could choose differently later.
If you’ve hurt someone, don’t spend all your energy defending yourself.
Sometimes the strongest words are:
“I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How can I make this right?”
5. Learn to Forgive
If someone has hurt you, ask God to help you move toward forgiveness.
That doesn’t mean rushing the process.
And it doesn’t mean ignoring unsafe or harmful behaviour.
But it does mean refusing to let revenge become your goal.
What If You’re the One Who Feels Left Out?
Joseph’s brothers were jealous of Joseph.
But what if you’re the one who feels like Joseph?
Maybe you think your brother or sister gets more attention.
Maybe you feel like another child is always praised.
Maybe someone else seems to be better at everything.
Those feelings can be painful.
But Joseph’s story—and his family’s story—reminds us that our identity isn’t determined by how much attention another person receives.
You are still valuable.
You still have gifts.
You still have a purpose.
And you don’t need to become someone else to have value.
What If Someone Has Hurt You?
Joseph experienced something much more serious than an ordinary sibling argument.
His brothers betrayed him and sold him into slavery.
Yet Joseph eventually chose forgiveness.
If someone has hurt you, you don’t have to handle it alone.
Talk to a parent, teacher, youth leader or another trusted adult.
Tell the truth about what happened.
Ask for help.
Pray about your feelings.
And, when you’re ready, begin working toward forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not weakness.
Joseph’s response showed incredible strength.
Family Relationships Can Change
One of the most encouraging parts of Joseph’s story is how dramatically the family relationship changed.
At the beginning:
Jealousy → hatred → betrayal → separation
Later:
Change → forgiveness → provision → reconciliation → reunion
The brothers couldn’t erase the past.
But their future didn’t have to look exactly like their past.
That’s an important message for preteens.
Maybe your family has experienced arguments.
Maybe you’ve said things you regret.
Maybe someone has hurt you.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship can never improve.
Sometimes healing begins with one person choosing to make a different decision.
A Simple Challenge for Preteens
Think about your family this week.
Ask yourself:
Is there someone I need to treat differently?
Maybe you’ve been:
- comparing yourself with them
- competing with them
- ignoring them
- teasing them
- holding onto anger
- refusing to apologise
- waiting for them to make the first move
Choose one action that could bring peace.
You could:
Say something encouraging.
Apologise.
Help without being asked.
Stop an argument before it grows.
Forgive something you’ve been holding onto.
Pray for someone you’re struggling with.
One small choice can begin changing the direction of a relationship.
The Biggest Lesson from Joseph and His Brothers
Joseph’s family story begins with a problem many preteens understand:
comparison.
One person feels favoured.
Someone else feels overlooked.
Jealousy grows.
Words become harsher.
Relationships break.
But the story doesn’t end there.
God works through years of difficult circumstances.
People change.
Joseph chooses forgiveness.
His family is reunited.
And Joseph eventually recognises that God was working even when he couldn’t see the whole picture.
That’s the hope in Joseph’s story.
People make wrong choices.
Families experience conflict.
People hurt each other.
But God can bring healing, forgiveness and purpose into broken situations.
Joseph and His Brothers: A Story Worth Remembering
The story of Joseph and his brothers teaches preteens that:
- Jealousy can lead to destructive choices.
- Comparison can damage relationships.
- Our feelings don’t have to control our actions.
- People can change.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean the hurt didn’t matter.
- Trust can take time to rebuild.
- God can bring good from difficult circumstances.
And perhaps the most important lesson is this:
You can’t always control what someone else does.
But you can choose how you respond.
Keep Exploring Joseph’s Story
The story of Joseph and his brothers covers much more than the coat of many colours and the famous pit.
It is a story about family, jealousy, betrayal, integrity, forgiveness, reconciliation, faith and God’s purpose.
If you’re looking for a Joseph Bible study for preteens, 30 Days with Joseph takes kids through Joseph’s complete journey in Genesis over 30 days.
Each day includes Bible reading, devotional teaching, Think About It questions, a practical faith challenge, reflection, prayer, memory verses and Bible facts—all in a low-prep, preteen-friendly format.
It is ideal for Christian families, homeschoolers, Sunday school, children’s ministry, youth groups and Christian educators.
Explore more Christian Bible resources for preteens at marcjarchow.com.