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Marc Jarchow – Author

Marc Jarchow


MommmI’mBored (MiB) | Preteen Bible Lessons
Relational Roots (RR) | Stronger Relationships
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Tag: Emotional Maturity

How to Stop Judging Others: Do We Really Know Their Story?

How to stop judging others – a pastel watercolor illustration of Couple #3 sitting together on a couch. The man asks, “What’s your favourite colour?” His thought bubble shows his wife as a colourful comic-book character, while hers shows a huge library representing the many different sides of her personality.

We are all pretty good at forming opinions about other people. Sometimes it takes only a few seconds. Men think they know what makes a woman tick and women think they know what makes a man tick. It’s understandable because “How to do Relationships” was never a school subject. It should have been. Now we […]

Making Assumptions in Relationships: How Many Problems Start With an Assumption?

Making assumptions in relationships illustrated by Couple #1 sitting together at a computer. The screen displays “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.” His thought bubble shows a combat-ready fox with a rifle jumping over a cowering enemy dog, while hers shows a rainbow-clad girl fox jumping over a cute pink long-haired dog beside a swimming pool.

Have you ever said something perfectly innocent, only to discover that someone has taken it completely the wrong way? You meant one thing. They understood something else. And before you know it, you have a problem that wasn’t there when the conversation started. Now bring gender into it, and the whole understanding-what-they-meant thing reaches a […]

Understanding Your Partner’s Needs: Do You Know What Really Matters to Them?

Understanding your partner's needs illustrated by RelationalRoots Couple #3. A blond, bearded man proudly presents his partner with an expensive vacuum cleaner in a gift box, while she gives an uncertain smile and thinks, “What was he thinking?”

Have you ever bought someone a present that you thought was absolutely brilliant, only to discover that they weren’t quite as excited as you were? Like that tie for Christmas for him and a new vacuum cleaner for her. I learned a while back that household appliances, no matter how big a purchase, were not […]

Understanding Feelings in a Relationship: What Are They Really Trying to Tell You?

Understanding feelings in a relationship illustrated by RelationalRoots Couple #2. An upset Black man speaks passionately while an Asian woman calmly rests her hand on his shoulder. Their thought bubbles show contrasting emotional pools, with his dominated by angry red Emoticons and hers by calm green Reasonicons.

Have you ever asked someone what is wrong, only to get the answer, “Nothing”? Sounds like a ‘man’ answer. Sharing my feelings always felt like I was sharing a weakness that made me come across as ‘lesser’ somehow. Understanding feelings in a relationship is an important tool in our relationship toolbox. Recognising them in others […]

How to Listen Better in a Relationship

RelationalRoots pastel watercolor illustration of Couple #1 having a serious conversation. The woman thinks, “I just want him to listen,” while the man is busy thinking through solutions, illustrating why listening to understand is more important than rushing to give advice. Discover how to listen better in a relationship.

“Are you even listening to me?”Who hasn’t heard that at some point in their lives? How to listen better in a relationship is a real thing. Have you ever been talking to someone and realised that they aren’t really listening? They are looking at you, perhaps even nodding at the right moments, but you can […]

How to Understand Someone Else’s Point of View

RelationalRoots illustration of Couple #3 sitting opposite each other at a table, looking at a number on a sheet of paper. He sees a 9 while she sees a 6, illustrating how two people can view the same situation differently. Learn how to understand someone else's point of view.

Why do I have to know how to Understand Someone Else’s Point of View? Isn’t my view the only real view? I know, it’s shocking what is expected of us. As a kid, considering someone else’s view was like expecting me to like spinach. Bizarre! However … Have you ever had a disagreement with someone […]

How to Change Your Behaviour and Improve Your Relationships

How to Change Your Behaviour. Pastel watercolor comic illustration of Couple #1, a white man with brown wavy hair and a short beard, and a white woman with long wavy auburn hair, sitting at a kitchen table. The man pauses mid-argument as he recognises his repeated behaviour, while a thought bubble shows them arguing. A small green shoot symbolises personal growth and healthier relationships.

How to change your behaviour – “I don’t understand, why do I need to change my behaviour?” Have you ever promised yourself that you would handle things differently next time, only to find yourself doing exactly the same thing again? Perhaps you promised not to lose your temper, interrupt when someone is speaking, or bring […]

Forgiveness in Relationships: Why Is It So Difficult?

Forgiveness in Relationships. Pastel watercolor illustration of Couple #3, a blond bearded man and his dark-haired Latina wife, sitting apart on a sofa after an argument. Thought bubbles show a car collision in his mind and a husband arriving home late in hers, while a small green shoot between them symbolizes hope and healing.

Why do we need forgiveness in relationships? What did I do wrong? We all make mistakes. Sometimes we say things we shouldn’t say. Sometimes we let people down, disappoint them, or hurt them without fully understanding what we’ve done. And sometimes, the people closest to us are the ones who hurt us the most. We […]

How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship

How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship. Pastel watercolor illustration of an African American man expressing frustration while his Asian partner listens calmly. Red symbols represent anger and confusion, while green symbols represent pausing, thinking, and responding with care.

How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship? – I mean, what’s there to control? If I feel it, it’s real, and it needs to be expressed in the way I’m expressing it. Why are we still talking about this?And yet, we know that this cannot be further from the truth. I wrote this in […]

How to Stop Taking Things Personally in a Relationship

How to Stop Taking Things Personally. Pastel watercolor illustration of a couple misunderstanding each other, with a green arrow showing a man's helpful intention and a red arrow showing his partner's hurt interpretation. The image illustrates how assumptions can affect relationships.

I mean, it’s been said to me, I feel it, when will I learn how to stop taking things personally !!! Have you ever had a conversation with your partner and found yourself upset by something they said or did, even though you weren’t quite sure what they meant? It could have been a look. […]

Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns in Relationships?

Repeating the Same Patterns in Relationships: Pastel watercolor illustration of an African American man and an Asian woman caught in a repeated relationship argument. Smaller scenes around them show the same disagreement recurring, with arrows forming a cycle.

If the question is: Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns in Relationships? Then what is the answer? I guess there are a few. For me, one is that it’s because I have gotten into the habit. Over the years, I have picked up a few quirks from my dad. A specific grunt when […]

How Your Behaviour Affects Your Relationships and mine, of course.

How Your Behaviour Affects Your Relationships. Watercolor illustration of a couple in the kitchen, where a man distractedly washes dishes while thinking about a football game and a woman covers her mouth in shock after making a sarcastic remark. Their dog watches expectantly beside the sink.

So, let’s talk about How Your Behaviour Affects Your Relationships and mine, of course. Have you ever said something to someone you love and wondered afterwards why they reacted the way they did? Perhaps you thought you were only being honest, making a joke, or pointing out something that needed to be done. Yet the […]

Why Do I Get So Upset Over Small Things in My Relationship?

Why Do I Get So Upset Over Small Things? Watercolor illustration of an angry woman pointing at a sock on the floor while her bewildered husband listens in a neat bedroom. A humorous example of how small things can trigger strong reactions in relationships.

Have you ever asked yourself, Why do I get so upset over small things?” Then afterwards, you wonder why you reacted so strongly. So, Why Do I Get So Upset Over Small Things” It’s one of those conundrums. SomeThing happens. You hit red alert in your level of upsetness. At some point, you calm down […]

How to Become a Better Person in Your Relationships

Pinterest illustration showing a couple walking toward a “Let’s get Married” sign while dragging heavy fishing nets filled with symbols of family background, culture, gender, influences, trauma, and experiences. The heading reads “How to Become a Better Person in Your Relationships.”

Have you ever looked at someone else’s behaviour and thought, “If only they would change, things would be so much better”? They need to read the book on How to Become a Better Person in Your Relationships.If only supper were ready when I got home, things would be so much better.If only my partner listened […]

How to Change Your Behaviour to Improve Relationships

An illustrated couple in a supermarket aisle illustrates how to change your behaviour to improve your relationships. The tall Nordic husband earnestly agrees with his petite Latina wife, who looks astonished as their shopping basket lies overturned and groceries spill across the floor.

Have you ever found yourself having the same argument with someone, perhaps your husband, wife, or a friend, and wondered why it keeps happening? You talk about it, you explain your side, and perhaps you even agree that things need to change. Then a few days later, there you are again, having the same argument. […]

How to Accept What You Cannot Change in a Relationship

An African American man and an Asian woman compare their different approaches to making coffee, illustrating how to accept what you cannot change in a relationship. Soft pastel colors and a warm illustrated style for RelationalRoots.

What a good question. So, how do I get to the point where I know how to Accept What You Cannot Change in a Relationship?When I was young, much younger than I am now, I may have transitioned through the phase where I thought I could tweak my wife in increments until she thought how […]

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

A husband considers different ways to apologize while his wife watches from the doorway, illustrating how to forgive someone who has hurt you and begin rebuilding a relationship.

Have you ever had someone hurt you and then wondered how to forgive someone who has hurt you?Many times. The problem is that it is easier not to forgive because then you can keep some kind of mental credit against them. Forgiving neutralises that in some bizarre way, and now you are equals again. Like […]

How to Admit You Are Wrong Without Making Things Worse

Watercolor-comic illustration for how to admit you are wrong, showing a woman acknowledging her mistake while her sad partner stands by a rain-streaked window, reflecting the difficulty of taking responsibility and repairing a relationship.

How to admit you are wrong: “Who’s wrong?” When you realize you were wrong !!! Like that’s ever going to happen.“Me, wrong! What are you smoking?”Or my other favorite.“I was wrong once, but the more I think about it, the more I’m sure I made a mistake.” It’s hard. I still find it so today. […]

How to Become a Better Listener in Your Relationships

Watercolor-comic illustration for how to become a better listener, showing an East Asian woman asking her Black partner for help in the kitchen while he watches television, distracted by thoughts of football, holidays, cars and other interests.

I’m sure you’ve heard this expression before. I know I have. I’m like, “I have two ears, what else do I need”, and then I moved on. Like the rest of humanity. Somewhere in the human design process I get the feeling that I have been short-changed because it appears that everything I do normally, […]